Let those Kids be Adults……

Whoever said that once our kids became adults, parenting would get easier was a Lie-awyer lol….While we aren’t changing diapers, helping with homework, or setting bedtimes, we are still very much  full-time parents I feel. Our job’s definitely don’t stop at age 18. I remember when my kids were younger I would always say, “I can’t wait until they get older so I can be free and live my life” but that has not gone as I expected it would. Two out of three of my kids are very dependent on me and while I appreciate my children knowing that they can come to me if they need me, it can be frustrating and tiring because your children feel because you are mom or dad that it is all that exist in your life. Every time I get on my son and ask why am I his first resort to his issues, he says because you are my mom lol. It’s always, mom can I have, can I borrow, can you take me, what can you give me lol, always I. Never; let me give my mom a break, I have bothered her enough. 

Kids these days are quite different. I love the fact that they want the world at their finger tips and dream big, the downside to that is they want everything to fall in their laps and not work for anything. They don’t appreciate much, or realize what it took for us to be in the positions that we are in today. I know as far as myself I would have to take some responsibility in regards to my children because I can say I coddled my children a bit due to the childhood I had, I wanted their life to be different than mine. Also, being a single parent, I needed things to be done right and fast as I was running a household, raising children and often times working and schooling. So in cases like mine, parents  tend to coddle or over compensate for what we feel we are lacking as a parent and believe me, kids know it and will take advantage. Coddling, fixing all of their problems, and being their first resort all the time, cripple our kids from being independent and it harms them more than it helps them.

While I will always love my babies, I have found that I have to set boundaries in being a parent to adult children by letting them be adults. I am learning to not be there for every mess up and let them work themselves out of certain situations, Or even when I give advice, I no longer get upset when they don’t listen to my advice. I respect their space and time and I make sure they respect mine. I think when we start to set boundaries with our new emerging adults, it can make our relationships difficult, but the key is being firm, sticking to the boundaries that we set, and being open and honest and letting them know that we will always be their parents and love them, but they are adults as we are and can not use us as their bank, grocery store, or hostel. Now this is in no way talking about young adults whom actually help themselves and need a helping had, y’all know the ones that I am talking about lol. 

Later Guys,

Pretty Lucid 

Poly-Love, Is it the future of relationships?

Is polyamory the future of our relationships or is this a current growing trend? So you ask, what is a poly-amorous relationship?, Simply put it’s a person having or agreeing to be in an open relationship with more than one person, some would look at it as simply dating, but polyamory goes further than that.

Different people have their reasons for entering into these types of relationships, some do it as a control or power factor, some feel that having one partner will not fulfill their total needs, others want a variety or some type of erotic pleasure, and lately I have been seeing young and middle-aged couples wanting to add an extra woman for the sake of achieving their financial or family goals.

Personally I do feel that these type of relationships are on the rise, while some can be in a monogamous relationship as far as family obligations, they prefer not to be sexually exclusive, also with it being slim pickings for a quality man and more women becoming successful but single, at some point women will want all that they have accomplished to be shared with a partner or have some sort of companionship and will start finding themselves in these types of relationships because who wants to be alone.

While there are at least 10 types of poly-amorous relationships, how does one accept this type of relationship? Imagine if your mate comes to you and express how they would like to add a partner to your relationship and even if they were able to convince you to do it, would you really be able to handle it emotionally? Honestly, I would prefer to have a traditional relationship, but I would be willing to have a poly-amorous relationship, I just do not know if could have a permanent situation. Maybe it would be nice to have a partner but not have to see them every night or have to serve all of their needs because I would have help. The big but is the Trust, there has to be a lot of trust and honesty involved in these types of relationships and I am almost sure that, that does not happen in any of these situations.

What do you think? Tell me your thoughts, why does a person feel that they have to have more than one partner? I feel this is going to be our new norm soon, let’s watch and see…..

Till next time….Lucid