Hey Lucid’s ….So reluctantly I have found my way back to the dating world and it’s so funny how with each relationship or situation-ship that I leave or leaves me lol, I learn more and more about what I really want and don’t want, deal breakers or acceptables lol if that’s a word… Like while I don’t really care for dating and having to keep meeting new people and telling my story over and over, I feel it is good because again with each encounter it leaves me with more insight as to what I really want in mate and what will keep me happy. Now I am not talking about the basic things like having someone’s who’s Self-Sufficient, Hardworking, God Fearing, Honest, Affectionate, etc.… even though that’s getting harder to find, I mean those eccentric things, things that hold my attention or things that turn me off for that matter. I also learn more about the energies that I release and what I can do better at or pull back on.
So, with all of that being said, I have always been open to dating different type of men whether it was race, culture, lifestyle, or class. I have never been judgmental about those types of things as I feel you never know where you will find love or in who. But I have found that as I am getting older, I want someone more equally yoked or that fits me if that makes sense. I am not as accepting of certain things that I was accepting of when I was younger or last year for that matter. My deal breaker list is growing but I feel I have to relax on some of those things, if not I will grow old alone and I do not want that for myself, I need and want a husband in the near future lol.
My Deal Breakers
Over Three Children
No Accomplishments or Commitments
Children under 16,
Under 5’9 in height
Has a Roommate
No employment or business
Lacks in good Grooming
Inability to Communicate well or have mature conversations
Younger than me
The list gets longer, but those are my top deal breakers although I can cancel one or two.
So Lucid’s what are your deal breakers, do you feel mine need to be relaxed, comment below. Let us talk about it….
So ladies, have you ever experienced a situation where you met a nice and handsome guy and you felt yourself really feeling him after a couple of dates and conversations. You both seem to share a lot of things in common and is also on the same page as far as what you both want from a relationship. In the beginning he flatters you with beautiful compliments, gassing your head up on how much he cares for you and how he could actually see you being his wife one day. Then later after more dates and time shared ,you begin to notice his that actions are not lining up with his words. His calls lessen, your dates become non-existent, and his consistency is no more. However when you both speak, he claims it isn’t what you think and have you feeling as if you are making something out of nothing, claiming he is just really busy…I’m sorry but did I miss something? I believe if you truly want someone, no matter how busy you are, you will find a way to always let that person know where they stand in your life and you will surely show your interest in them one way or the other..
But I have a question; What is up with men and their inconsistency these days? Why does making a commitment seem like the ending of their life? Every woman will not crowd your space guys, some of us have lives as well. And we can actually be your friend outside of your boys. We women just want the love, respect, and commitment given to be returned willingly.
Note to Guys: If you meet a woman and you like her like that, but you know you are not ready for commitments or if you know you already have a commitment, just be honest, let her decide if that is something she wants to deal with, don’t try and trick her into being with you for you to get what you want; then when she starts to expect more from you, you start looking at her sideways as if she is the problem.
Note to Ladies: No matter how good the conversation or time spent is, step back and see are his actions matching his words. ‘probably not if you have to’…. see if his intentions are real; yes we all want awesome sex, sweet words, and a handsome man, with a great smile, but why waist your time and body on something that wont last long. I think we need to make these guys more accountable ladies, don’t make it easy for them, Make sure their actions match their Words before you give yourself…
So I’m sure at one time or another we all have heard of May-December Romances. May-December Relationships often involve a wealthy older man and a younger beautiful woman; with the older lover sponsoring all the things his young lover’s heart desires. But nowadays older women have joined the popular wisdom. Older women have also started taking care of younger men as long as they supply their needs. Most of these relations seem to have formed from the older man or woman coming from divorce, being widowed, or maybe the older lover focusing on a career, business, or life in general in their younger years; and not taking love so seriously. So in their older years they grow lonely and seek excitement, fun, and sexual healing…and may I add, is willing to pay whatever they have to, to get the younger lover and keep them. The younger lover on the other hand gives a fallacy of love in order to gain wealth, social status, or advancement opportunities. In some cases the December lover is aware and don’t mind the absence of real genuine love; however, in most cases one is surely deceiving the other to get what they want from the relationship.
In my younger years I had a May-December romance with and older gentleman. In the beginning my intentions were solely based on what I could get from the relationship; however, I was thrown for a loop and actually grew feelings for the old joker…He was a great man and supplied me with so many things, not just material wise, but knowledge and wisdom as well. The down fall was he was older, had lived life, and was set in his own ways. I was young, vibrant, and wanted fun and action. Not to spend every Saturday night in his Jacuzzi, watching CNN. My older lover also had insecurities. Every man that I would come in contact with, that was younger; he felt I wanted them in some sort of way. Later came the midnight rides by my house to see who was there. Graduating to stalker like behavior which made me have to end the relationship. After leaving that relationship, I promised myself that I would never involve myself in such a relationship again. It was a hard and stressful relationship, I’m almost sure it was just as stressful to him. But by both of us wanting whatever we wanted from each other, we were willing to deal with certain behaviors that we wouldn’t have had to deal with; had we chose to date someone of our own age and status.
In conclusion, I feel that in order to date someone that is of a significant age difference from yourself, you still will have to have some kind to liking or understanding of the other person. Because it will be lots of ups and downs or plus and minuses. The May- December Romance may be an enjoyable ride, however, in my opinion; the ride will be a short one, because eventually both will have to face the fact that they are living a fallacy of emotions to satisfy his or her needs. And in time all those hidden intentions or insecurities will begin to surface and tear apart the May-December Romance anyway.
What are your thoughts? Do you feel that these types of relationships are healthy? Do they really last?