Whoever said that once our kids became adults, parenting would get easier was a Lie-awyer lol….While we aren’t changing diapers, helping with homework, or setting bedtimes, we are still very much full-time parents I feel. Our job’s definitely don’t stop at age 18. I remember when my kids were younger I would always say, “I can’t wait until they get older so I can be free and live my life” but that has not gone as I expected it would. Two out of three of my kids are very dependent on me and while I appreciate my children knowing that they can come to me if they need me, it can be frustrating and tiring because your children feel because you are mom or dad that it is all that exist in your life. Every time I get on my son and ask why am I his first resort to his issues, he says because you are my mom lol. It’s always, mom can I have, can I borrow, can you take me, what can you give me lol, always I. Never; let me give my mom a break, I have bothered her enough.
Kids these days are quite different. I love the fact that they want the world at their finger tips and dream big, the downside to that is they want everything to fall in their laps and not work for anything. They don’t appreciate much, or realize what it took for us to be in the positions that we are in today. I know as far as myself I would have to take some responsibility in regards to my children because I can say I coddled my children a bit due to the childhood I had, I wanted their life to be different than mine. Also, being a single parent, I needed things to be done right and fast as I was running a household, raising children and often times working and schooling. So in cases like mine, parents tend to coddle or over compensate for what we feel we are lacking as a parent and believe me, kids know it and will take advantage. Coddling, fixing all of their problems, and being their first resort all the time, cripple our kids from being independent and it harms them more than it helps them.
While I will always love my babies, I have found that I have to set boundaries in being a parent to adult children by letting them be adults. I am learning to not be there for every mess up and let them work themselves out of certain situations, Or even when I give advice, I no longer get upset when they don’t listen to my advice. I respect their space and time and I make sure they respect mine. I think when we start to set boundaries with our new emerging adults, it can make our relationships difficult, but the key is being firm, sticking to the boundaries that we set, and being open and honest and letting them know that we will always be their parents and love them, but they are adults as we are and can not use us as their bank, grocery store, or hostel. Now this is in no way talking about young adults whom actually help themselves and need a helping had, y’all know the ones that I am talking about lol.